Wow. Today I was able to just take a breath. A nice long clear breath not filled with anxiety and stress and that feeling in my stomach that makes me want to hide under the covers. For the record, I'm not the hide under the covers type. I'm the press on no matter what type. I have had tremendous examples of that in my lifetime so it is definitely learned behavior as well as "no other choice" behavior.
The studio experienced some very high highs this season tempered by some medium to great lows. The lows were a result of my newness and sometimes dumbness. But, as I am fundamentally a smart girl, I have identified all of the low causing issues and that is a big thing. The studio will re-open when they are fixed and not a moment before. More on that later.
Whenever things go awry...and they do go awry you have to get a bit metal. For those of you not familiar with Taoist philosophy...well it's not a short explanation. Let's just say I had to buck up. I had to face my failures, I had to confess my shortcomings, I had to apologize and I had to do this in a non-bitchy foot stamping way. Owning a business, no matter how small humanizes you. It forces out all the craggy flaws into plain view and your customers decide whether they will flog or forgive. What they do is based on how you treat them. I have learned lots of lessons. LOTS. After it all I will tell you this...kind words are lovely, but treating your customers well means a lot more than a fine how do you do. You treat them well through great quality product, quickness and accuracy, doing what you say you will do. That's it. It's not magic, but when you get it all right it is sort of magical.
So, perhaps you might be saying to yourself...this sounds like a bunch of very low lows and that is not what you said in the title.
That's because, when you are finally removed from a shit situation you gain a little perspective and a whole lotta context. Amidst my mini crisis....really great things happened. I had customers come out of the woodwork with words that lifted me up and kept me going. I discovered a generosity of spirit that humbled me. I got to do what I love in a place I love among people I love. That is a very high high. Watching my nephew package items, my mom punching circles, my sister and niece labeling and sorting and my brother...well, he provided comic relief:) Just thinking of it makes me weepy. Have you ever been so lucky? I hope so. I got the chance to not only feel my family's love and support, but to see it with my own eyes...laid out before me.
Context changes everything. The business stuff while intense is all fixable. I am a person of metal. This I know. I will not spend the rest of this glorious month looking back. The lows get one day. Today. That's it.
I have already set in place the foundation for the new shop. It will be different...and in this case, by different, I mean better.
Now I gots to go make my December Daily. We're 8 days in. EEK!