the slow roll

Last year around this time the studio shop was wild. It was super busy and I was shocked and elated by all the orders that came pouring in everyday. I had built a little nothing into a little something and was walking around feeling pretty proud of myself.

I was also feeling pretty overwhelmed, pretty exhausted, and pretty confused...shouldn't I be happy and grateful. I felt like my joy was being gobbled up by stress. I made family members help me while on vacation, I changed flights, I cancelled flights, I declined invitations, I ignored my husband, my  dog and myself. I spent morning until well into the evening filling orders, packaging, restocking inventory, printing mailing labels, filing out those little customs forms (thank the lord I can do it online now). I was just a drag to be around and I finally just broke down and wept to my husband who had a very simple response.

It's time to slow your roll.

He was right. It was time. I had done a great thing but not really in a great way. I had risked my own peace of mind and it was awesome for a time...until it wasn't. I ended up clearing out most of my inventory and closing my virtual doors for a spell. You guys know the rest. Recently I reopened after nearly a year. Same Bananafish...different studio. A friend asked me how it was going the other day and I thought for a minute...and said "slow." She took this to mean bad...like business was bad. But, no...it wasn't bad, just slow. And slow is my new favorite thing.

Sure...orders don't come in like they used to...I only have a fraction of the inventory so that makes total sense. I don't spend all my days filing orders, I have been able to assign specific times for that. It doesn't take me three weeks to get something out...more like one. And I have ideas...so many ideas about things I want to make...for myself. Yeah...I've been actually making stuff...and not shop samples but stuff using all kinds of products and supplies. I'm taking a couple online workshops, I have caught up (mostly) on my pocket album and have been participating in the #get messy art journal group.

So the slow roll is good. It's better than good. Much of my day is devoted to my design clients which...c'mon, are really my bread and butter. It took a while for me to settle into my new normal, to accept and enjoy what the shop is now, to recognize that growth means something different to everybody, to pace myself and just go slow:)

Happy Friday!

Look for part two of simple stamping next Wednesday.
edited to add: let's switch wednesday to friday:)

aaaaand I come right back

I just wrote a long ass post about blogging and how I'm not really a blogger, but just a girl with a blog, and how it's not really the same...and yeah, I bored myself. So, I will spare you all of that.

I stumbled a bit with my Mon, Wed, Fri posting but when that happens, I somehow manage to come right back. I like this little piece of Internet I've carved out. I'm not terribly good at generating content though since I don't have kids, my dog doesn't talk, I can't legally discuss the clients and companies for whom I work, my exercise plan is for shit, I can never get good pictures of my dinner, I rarely bake, I'm reading Pride and Prejudice for the umpteenth time, I have yet to complete my monthly scrapbook spread, I don't DIY, I haven't picked up my knitting needles in a while, I haven't traveled anywhere that hasn't already been well documented, the studio shop is still quite undone, I've never had a Moscow Mule, I'm not much of a thrifter, I don't have any advice on being a designer/small business owner/ amateur rapper other than be nice and make things, I don't drink coffee, I'm not a great photographer, and much to my husband's chagrin, I have yet to succumb to World Cup fever.

What does that leave? Oh, I know...

Happy Friday the 13th

on gardens and gardening

It seems like everywhere I look folks are talking about their gardens. Truth be told, I like it and I get it. Up until a couple years ago...I didn't get it. You see, up until a couple years ago I never lived in a house, never had a garden and had never grown something from the ground and eaten it.

That's all changed since I moved into this delightful little house in the lovely PNW, but I still reminisce about my childhood. I grew up in a 10 unit apartment building with a pool in the center of a small courtyard. Although I didn't know it back then, the apartment I grew up in was bigger than a LOT of houses and we didn't really ever want for space. The best part besides the pool is that each unit was occupied by families with kids around our age. Some of which have remained in my life to this day. Over thirty years later, a couple of those families still live there...including my mom. These people that started out as neighbors and became like family have all changed and grown...some have become grandparents recently. EEK! Some have fought in wars around the world...they have children and jobs and struggles.

Even though I didn't have a garden then, I now realize as I walk through grass still wet with dew, as I pick flowers to give away or to perfume my home, as I anxiously await my budding tomatoes and pop warm raspberries in my mouth...Gardens come in many different forms. As a child I still got to watch things grow. I still got to see things being tended and loved.  I learned the lesson that what springs from the earth will eventually return to it and that you reap what you sow.

I am so thankful for what I have now, but it can never compare to what I had then. I don't own this garden...but for now, for today, it's mine to enjoy.

the what, when & why | scrapbook edition

When it comes to Scrapbooking, I do a bit of everything. I make traditional layouts, I make minibooks, I maintain a modified monthly version of Project Life, I create photobooks and I use Instagram (which is a form of memorykeeping in my opinion). This is a lot considering I have a job, and a life and other hobbies I enjoy. I don't do any of the aforementioned for posterity...I harbour no hope that anyone will find value in my memories, but me. I do it because I enjoy the process of documenting my own life. Simple.  The real question is, with so many options for keeping my memories, how do  I determine what to use when...and why?

So here it is:

Layouts are for stories & playing.  I don't create a layout if I don't have a deeper story I want to write. The picture is a supporting character. It's also a chance to play around creatively.  I cut things up, I sew, I layer and use embellishments...this is when I experiment and try new things.

Minibooks are for subjects with a beginning and an end. Small trips, a single subject (like December Daily). I don't like open-ended minis. I find that they tend to languish in a perpetual state of incompleteness. I like setting parameters and working within them. I like that minibooks can be equally devoted to pictures, stories and play and the smaller scale makes the whole thing infinitely more fun and finish-able:)

Pockets/Project Life are for everyday.  So what about that huge part of my life that happens in between the highlights? The meals I eat, the places I go, the tasks I complete, the people that share my life...my outfits, hairstyles, complaints...my every single day? A lot of it goes in pockets every month. I collect all the photos from my random picture taking instruments and I then go about choosing which best represent the month. I write to create context and that's it. Very little decoration just words and pictures...a way for me to remember the small moments and how significant a part they play in the grand scheme.

Photobooks are for pictures. As I find myself getting better at figuring out how to take a decent photo I have longed to have something representative of that, something that I can design myself that is well done and includes really nice images. These take time and a ruthless ability to edit. I am currently making one for my trip to Paris and my niece's graduation.

Instagram is for fun and followers. The biggest difference between Instagram and my physical scrapbooks is that you can follow and be followed. I love following people...I love being inspired, I love getting that peek into peoples lives, I love liking and commenting, I love the enthusiasm people have for sharing. I like the quickness, how I can include a short phrase or a funny descriptor. I like the advertising capabilities...it's like sending a shoutout.  It doesn't replace scrapbooking for me...it's more like an extension. I could probably use it more, but because my feed is public I have to be a bit more thoughtful. I notice that there are some people that Instagram everything...do you do that? Use it like a virtual photo album? I'm curious because I don't think of it that way.

So the only remaining question is where do I find the time? How sick are you of that question? The answer is I think people are resourceful and they manage to make time for the things they love. So yeah...it's not like I found time hiding under the couch. I carve out bits here and there. I have arranged my life so I have time for these things. Sometimes that means I don't cook or I don't clean, or I take a lot longer to finish a book...the motto is true...I'd rather be scrapbooking.

girl, interrupted

image taken somewhere around 25,000 feet

I was recently reading an article about a study by Fairfield University regarding picture taking and memory. The study introduced the idea that taking photos can interrupt the brains process of remembering. This "photo-taking impairment effect" is characterized by taking more pictures but remembering fewer details. It's like "outsourcing your memory to a camera."

While there are a few caveats which I will get to in a moment, it got me thinking about my own picture taking and the sheer volume of photos I take...especially with my phone. I realized that I too had fallen victim to this memory interruption. Once upon a time I absorbed moments more completely...sure there have always been distractions, but never one I held in my hand. I find that when I put the phone down my senses become far more acute and I am experiencing moments on a more visceral level which effects how clearly I remember them. It seems like I've been trusting my camera phone to do that for me. I didn't think about remembering or even experiencing...I thought about getting the right light, focusing, looking for a place to prop my phone etc. I was blocking my own brain from truly experiencing anything. This very fact was crystallized for me last week at my niece's graduation. It took place at sunset outdoors and at the end there were fireworks. I was trying my level best to get a good picture until my husband whispered to me..."they never look as good in pictures as they do in real life." I quickly put my camera down, but it was too late...they were done.

The research scientist at the university brought up the idea that photographs are less memories and more like retrieval clues. She encourages the idea of "mindful photography" which I think could be something each of us determines individually. Back to those caveats...after reading the study I thought it should have addressed the fact that not all picture taking is meant to preserve a memory...sometimes its purpose is to evoke emotion or simply artistic in nature. I also think familiarity with the process makes a huge difference.  For example...when I'm back home in LA and I drive to the beach I am able to experience everything about that drive...the sights, the smells everything, and I think it's directly related to the fact that I know my route so well I could drive it in my sleep. That cannot be said for the times I am dependent upon my GPS. I am focused so heavily on turning right or left in 100 yards or making sure I don't miss my exit that I couldn't tell you a single thing about the drive other than thank God I made it. I think the same can be said for good photographers...they don't need to focus so heavily on their technique which frees them up to experience moments more fully.

 For me, practicing "mindful photography" means allowing myself to experience first and record second. If this means missing a few pictures or less than stellar pictures, I'm okay with that. If it means having nothing to Instagram, I'm okay with that too. I also think the very idea of this should spark a conversation about storytelling. A picture is wonderful but without the details, the story...it's just an image. That's why scrapbooking is so valuable to me...it allows me to tell a broader story...a deeper more colorful story complete with words and pictures.

the act of seeking out

 all images taken this weekend at Golden Gardens and Kayak Point

Sometimes I feel like I lead a double life.

The virtual one and the real one. The virtual life looks a bit different than the real one, yet it is all the same. It really comes down to what I share...isn't that the same for all of us really?

If using the Internet as ones sole point of reference...one could say I go a lot of places, complete a lot of projects, cook all the time, have a garden filled with beautiful flowers and enough downtime to photograph it all. Wow! What a life...could I be that girl? When I look at my own blog and my own Instagram feed I am often struck by how pretty, fun and full it all looks. It gets me thinking about perspective and how what you choose to share becomes the narrative.

So hows about a bit of truth with your morning cup of tea.

I am a homebody and not particularly social. I have a very small group of friends and most of them live in other places. I spend long stretches of the day not speaking to another human being. I work from home so my interactions are few. This lifestyle is mostly delightful to me as I have never been an extrovert. This does not mean that I am antisocial. Actually quite the contrary. I enjoy other people. I enjoy people watching. I enjoy engaging in animated conversations. I just don't seek it out.

I decided to make some changes in 2014. While I didn't feel the need to become a social butterfly. I did and do want to get out more. I want my everyday life to be more like the life I see in my own pictures. I want the fullness to be the rule rather than the exception. I treasure my quiet simple life...I truly do...but there's so much good stuff that comes with getting out and I can't expect all that good stuff to come to me. So far I have exceeded my own expectations. Both with Keith and without him, I have explored this great city...I have embarked on a road trip, I have visited new places and dined with new people. I have cooked different kinds of food and listened to different kinds of music. I have watched documentaries on subjects for which I never previously cared. I have played with my dog and wept with strangers. I see Keith doing the same...stretching himself in ways that make me proud and happy.

One of my goals is to visit a whole list of parks here in the PNW. The parks here will blow your mind, they are really that beautiful. Every time I visit one I return home feeling joy. Fresh air, trees and a nice long walk will do that I guess...who knew? 

In addition to the parks here are a few other things I want to do this summer:

Take a cooking class.
Have tea with a stranger.
Go to more movies.
Have a picnic with Keith in our backyard
See Mt Rainier up close
Rent a cabin with a hot tub;)

invent a signature cocktail
do a bit of painting
wear more dresses
take a yoga class

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”  
-Mary Oliver

day in the life | 2014

Yesterday I participated in Ali's Day in the Life project. I've done it before, but never really accomplished much with the photos. Every year I find the constant picture taking fun at first and then annoying. I didn't want to think about setting up the camera to photograph a long ass conference call or what happens to Ronin/Cujo when the mailman comes. These are all part of my days but somewhat impossible to capture on camera.

I was happy that this years DITL landed on a pretty calm day for me. There wasn't a ton on my to-do list and it was pretty typical over all. I opted to only photograph what I would normally photograph for my monthly pocket album and didn't worry about every last detail. I did take care to write everything down though. I still wanted to record my day, I just didn't want to do it primarily through pictures. I ended up printing out a single picture for my album and writing everything out directly on it. I took one silly pic in the morning...I meant to use it to Instagram my daily bun, but ended up using all that white space for recording my day. I am quite pleased with the result and glad I took the time to write things down as they happened. This is what most of my days look like...

messy bun included.

if you don't know, now you know

My desk looks pretty clean in this picture...but there's a lot you can't see, just follow the numbers around the room.

1. Against the wall in front of my desk is a long low Expedit aka Kallax book shelf that desperately needs to be dusted. It's home to my printer, my Cameo and lots of business paperwork that needs to be filed.

2. Yes, two is tricky...it's hiding beneath my desk but it's really hiding the bottom shelf of that shelving unit behind my desk which contains 3 baskets filled with...I don't even know.

3. Is a decent looking lamp that sits atop my computer/sewing machine/ place where I sit when I get tired of standing desk. Right now it's also home to 3 large boxes that need to be broken down and recycled. oh...and if I open that window I might just catch a glimpse of my neighbor playing the accordion....naked. Just kidding about the accordion.

4. The wall to the right of my desk has three small metal shelving units that contain what's left of my shop inventory, my manual die cutting accoutrement. and some books and magazines. It's all kind of a mess.

So there you go...a picture that doesn't even show the half of it.

Happy Workspace Wednesday

Oh...i forgot to mention the door to this room  with the busted up metal dog gate in front of it.  This is a strictly no Ronin zone...he eats paper.

right now...

My feet are crazy cold because I flat out refuse to wear socks. Dear 70+ temps...please come back.

I am loving the look of my painted wood veneer

Ronin is loving his morning massage routine. Keith is jealous.

I am back to crochet for a bit.

I am wondering how I will incorporate 30 turkey meatballs into our meal plan this week.

I am doing push ups in the morning like my dad

Keith is rocking a neatly trimmed salt and peppah beard.

Ronin's ears are dirty but he almost ate my fingers when i tried to clean them.

I'm slowly checking things off my to-do list.

Keith is writing funny shit.

May is looking kinda gray.

a walk down memorykeeping lane

Happy National Scrapbooking Day! Yes, it's a thing.

I thought that it would be fun to share some of my early scrapbook layouts and kinda see how much...or how little I've evolved:)

This may very well have been my 2nd or 3rd layout ever. 8.5x11 because that was my jam and still is sometimes and lots of distress inking and stamping. I made those flowers free hand so yeah, the making of my own embellishments started from the very beginning. Just to give you a frame of reference, my niece was about two in that picture and she just turned 18 four days ago. EEK!

Another Allie layout because early on I thought scrapbooking was all about kids and since I didn't have any I used the one and only child to whom I had somewhat unlimited access. 2005 and I was super into layering and patterns. Oh, and tearing paper...i don't know what I was thinking other than
TRY EVERYTHING!!!!

Still on the "scrap my sister's kid" train. I decided to try 12x12 and it felt like a lot of real estate to fill up. I also realized that I'm a one maybe two photos kinda gal and always have been. More layering, more handmade embellishments. I still love this picture and remember that day fondly.

Yup, I was way more prolific in my early scrapbooking years. This was pretty simple and I think it was a scraplift...so if it looks like something you made back in the day, thanks for the inspo:) To those that think using embroidery floss on scrapbook pages is new, it's not. I'm glad that it made its way back around again but I'm no longer really into it.

Yay! Seven years later my sister gives birth to another child just so I'd have someone other than Allie to scrapbook. Okay...that might not have been the whole reason. Clearly my style evolved very little. One picture, layers, buttons and handwritten journaling along the side. I have about 50 more that look just like this one.

A rare two picture layout, but it follows my basic formula. It was around this time that I started machine stitching on everything. My nephew was about two or three in this picture and he is now 11. Love that I was still using buttons and cut out embellishments.

Around 2006  I stopped scrapbooking my niece and nephew. I wanted to scrapbook my family as an extension of my own life and not as the primary subject matter. I also cancelled all of my scrapbooking magazine subscriptions since they never really got behind depicting layouts that looked like my life. I switched to the Internet where I discovered the Dares and other styles of scrapbooking that more closely fit my aesthetic.

Cut to 2010 and I was still keeping pictures to a minimum...still layering and still machine stitching. The big addition was mist. Let me tell you...it was short lived. I still like mist, but I don't do it very much.

Almost 20 years later and I'm still participating in this amazing hobby. It has helped my unwind, it has helped me become far more observant, it has helped me remember things I had long forgotten...but really it's made me happy and grateful for my life. I think all these layouts pretty much look alike...except for that first one which was kind of an anomaly. I still like all of the same things. My favorite embellishments are still the ones I make myself. I still use some of the exact same paper punches and supplies. I now scrapbook 6x8 layouts which is really a slightly smaller version of 8.5x11 and these days it's almost all about me:)

Here's to another 20 years.  Oh...and note to self...use my own handwriting more.

on knowing it will never really get cold here

I am trying my best to make peace with the fact that it will never get very cold in my neck of the woods, which has a considerably different climate from the woods in Vermont shown in the photo above. I mean in a few months people a bit further to the middle and the east will be ankle deep in snow and I will still be frolicking in the sunshine. That's what's nice about living in LA right? The weather...the eternally fabulous climate. The sunshiney and 70 all the livelong day.

Yes, I know I should be thanking my lucky stars, but that's hard to do when my east coast friends are blogging about new scarves and coats, pumpkin lattes and soup. Wonderful soup. I know I could just push the little knob on my thermostat down a bit and pretend...but what's the use. Plus...that's kinda wasteful.

I'm an autumn girl...born in October and a Libra through and through. I love fall. I love that I sprung from my mother during such a perfectly lovely season. Nevermind that it's always a little warm on my birthday...it never feels like fall to me until I turn another year older. I guess you could say that for me...fall is like spring. A time for new beginnings. So what does a gal do when longing for fall in all its frigid glory ...I flip through seasonal catalogs...I make a pot of spiced cider so that the smell wafts through my 76 degree apartment, I buy a couple of sweaters that it will never really be cold enough to wear, I knit scarves, I make things, I drink hot chai instead of iced and at the end of it I discover, once again, how this time of year is beautiful no matter where you live.


photo courtesy of Paul Schwarz

hearsay

while having a delightful solitary breakfast this morning at a small Beverly Hills establishment I overheard this conversation:

person A: I just can't agree with Sarah Palin...especially when it comes to the pro life stuff.

person B: She never actually said that. This is what she said....verbatim. (by the way person B was wrong. I heard the speech to which he was referring).

person A: well...whatever...I just think Obama is better.

person B : you don't even know why you think that. The Democrats need you to think that.

person A: She just sounds so uneducated, so coached and she's not the least bit like Hillary. How does being able to see Russia, make you a foreign policy expert.

person B: Once again, you are just regurgitating what all the news stations keep saying. Don't you have any original thoughts?

I could tell person A was crumbling. She just didn't know how to express what she wanted to say, or maybe person B was right and she was just doing what everyone else was doing. For the record, I didn't agree with either party. I am not one to share my politics although I've made no secret of where my support lies. What I found unfortunate was that, in that particular discussion, person A was hopelessly outdone. By a Republican. She had right on her side. He had words. Words always win. Why do we prefer to do as we're told despite what we know is right? I don't know. What I do know is that this is a bipartisan post. Figure out what you stand for and....STAND FOR IT whether you can articulate it or not.

wide open spaces

Arizona is definitely the land of wide open spaces, breathtaking sunsets and my sister. I've been here for a while now and although I'm ready to go home, it has been amazing. My sis lives in the foothills of the Catalina Mountains and so far I've seen a tarantula and all manner of desert creatures. It's hot, I won't lie and there have been a few crazy thunderstorms but it sure beats hurricane weather. My plans were to spend this week in central Louisiana, but work issues required that I stay a bit closer to home. Good thing since I would have had to do some major battle with mother nature just to get a flight out. I guess everything happens for a reason. I will be back soon and so will regularly scheduled programming.

till then
xo

welcome to the revolution

Although I haven't been hiding in the caves of Afghanistan or moonlighting as a Sherpa on Everest somehow I managed to completely miss out on that technological breakthrough known as IMing. That's instant messaging to all you folks who were like me...yesterday. Today is a new day and I am a novice no longer. Thanks to Keith who hooked me up last night I have entered the new millennium. I know, I know to the facebook crowd this whole post must seem positively provincial but it's true. I'm old yo and these days I feel like my mom probably felt years ago when she was afraid of using her ATM card. It gets harder to keep up no matter how badly you want to. It's odd that while my job requires a significant amount of tech savvy, I have yet to truly broaden my horizons. I haven't given into the iphone and sorry facebook but I'm still holding out. As for twitter...man I tried, but a girl can only come up with so many random but somewhat applicable haiku. I'm sure Mark Zuckerberg doesn't miss me. So in conclusion, the moral of this story is...

•always be willing to learn new things unless they involve ninja stars or wizards•

On another note but equally important...if you are in the neighborhood, stop by the Junction. My cousin has a booth there so if you can show her some love that would be swell. Mention my name and you will get...absolutely nothing. She's lovely though and will be more than happy to sell you something marvelous.

Ciao