my achilles hill

image here

for several weeks now I've been going on daily walks. I rise early, slip on my sneakers and head out into the cold gray morning. I am fortunate to live on a beautiful street with a view of the sound as my constant companion. I typically listen to music...but i don't require it. I find my thoughts are more than enough to keep me occupied, that is until I reach the end of my street. The end is a lovely spot that opens up to another side of the sound. I then have a few choices: I can turn around and return from whence I came, I can go around the curve and continue on my path...or I can head up the hill.

Let me preface by saying that my city is full of hills. It is difficult to walk anywhere without coming in contact with some sort of hill and while my particular hill isn't exactly Mt. Kilimanjaro...it's a challenge for this 30 something, out of shape, pleasantly plus size girl. It is only 3 blocks to the the top, but they are three of the longest blocks EVER. I feel like time is stretched thin and like a rubberband might snap at any moment and send me into cardiac arrest. I don't feel pretty trudging up the hill. I feel weak. I feel like that hill is fighting me the entire way up and for most of it...i'm getting my ass kicked.

I intend to conquer this hill, which to be perfectly honest may seem inconsequential to some, but to me it is my nemesis. It is symbolic of all the things that hold me down. When I conquer it...there will be another and then another...of this I'm sure. It should really be prepared...'cause if it's looking for a fight...it's gonna get one.